blogvid

I have not been impressed by the size of the supposed gargantuan roaches in New York. And the rats for that mater too. And the mice. Our apartment has a small roach problem. Let me rephrase that: a small problem with small roaches. I had never seen such tiny roaches until I lived in this apartment. They mostly hang out by the sink and I spray them with water and soap until they go kaput. We even had (fingers crossed) a small mouse problem. The darn thing was so cute. He was hanging out at night a for couple weeks then he just kinda went away. I'm not gonna lie, the mouse gave me the heebi jeebies for sure, but it was never too bad. Last night all of that changed while watching team USA beat Puerto Rico in the FIBA Americas tournament. Out of the corner of my eye I thought the mouse was back. I turned and realized this was too slow-moving to be a mouse (mice are fucking fast, btw). It was a fucking cocroach. The kind legends are made of. I have seen it once and will forever tell people how fucking huge the roaches in New York are. The mice, eh, but ohmygodthefuckingroaches. Before I could shake my fear and longing for a warm, safe place, the roach scurried away under the entertainment center. Fast forward. I'm in the shower. At this point I am clean, at least, to my satisfaction. After a nice long, leisurely shower I often enjoy a not too long, but indeed leisurely, bath. So I have a seat switch into bath mode, get the temp all warm and cozy-like, and then stopper that shit up. When there is about 2 inches of water in the tub I see it again!!! The roach to end all roaches. On the shower curtain! Ah. If mice could scurry on vertical surfaces I think I would have shit the shower this morning. The shock of seeing this creature invade my life did not last as long this time so I was able to think and act. I unplug the tub and use the stopper to hit the roach into the draining water. He/she/it falls and starts to swim!! Some far reach of my brain tells me I already knew roaches could swim. No time to wiki it so I press on. I push the roach underwater with the stopper. The roach flips over onto its back. It somehow managed to get back on its belly and start swimming again. I push it closer to the drain in hopes of some sweet whirlpool action. His roach stroke is strong. I push him under and closer to the drain. His kicking seems to have stopped and he slowly spirals to what I hope is his final fate. I quickly plug the bath up again just to be sure. And yes, I had my bath. The whole time imagining legions of roaches coming out of the faucet to drain me.

Oh, and in the shower last night I realized I am an idiot as I usually tend to do in the shower. I think the shower has got to be my #1 place for ah ha moments. I am busy pulling out dead pubes from the tangle that is my man area and BAM! Idea. or BAM you are an idiot! My IAAI moment was that we are currently experiencing the month of August not september which would make the time lapsed betwixt my previous post and my anteprevious post a month not two months. Let it be noted that I am an idiot.

I had a weird dream last night. Well first it was kinda normal. I was teaching and i had no lesson plan. I have had this dream tens of times and every time it is quite stress inducing. This one was not so much because it was the first day of school and nothing happens on those days anyways. The setting had hcanged too. It was my new school. As with most real locations in my dreams it looked nothing like the actual place, btu I KNEW exactly where I was. So that was normal. Then I was at some sort of institution of higher learning (this one was non-specific) watching a powerpoint presentation given by a Zach Braff lookalike. The colors on the ppt were all fucked up. I was in the back of the auditorium trying to fix the colors only to make it worse. Then I met up with some peeps: Tim, Matt, some other dude or two (can't remember who right now), Cathy, and Caryn. We went to a whore house run by mexicans. I've seen this whore house in previous dreams, but I have never been inside, until last night. We didn't actually partake in any of the services but we stood there for a bit htinking about it. Ok, actually Tim partook in the services. He asked for a woman with a nice bra. Good choice, Tim. The girls waited outside after seeing the interior. There was more but those details are a little hazy.