Monday, April 17, 2006
New Product Idea
I just applied my Mitchum for I am a Mitchum Man. I almost smeared the pore-stopping stuff on my face, which got me to thinking. Inspired by my near-antiperspirant blunder and the new Old-Spice two-in-one body wash and shampoo, I think someone should come out with a deoderant/moisturizer. Just dial it in like a normal stick of deoderant apply liberally to armpits, dial it up again and slather some on your face. Now you'd probably have to tone down the scents or go unscented like I do, but this could work. Come to think of it I think we should throw this 2-in-1 one concpet to the dogs and go for gold: 5-in-1. Body wash, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, AND toothpaste. The last part is inspired by the time I almost squoze face wash onto my toothbrush. the grittiness of the toothpaste would also act as a nice daily exfoliant. maybe you could even throw in some shaving cream/gel functionality and throw a blade on the bottle! man I am on a roll here.
IRN... for all you now considering becoming Mitchum Men too (and yes ladies, you too can be Mitchum Men (and no ladies, you may not be called Mitchum Ladies, that just doesn't make any sense)) let me forewarn you: the honeymoon is weird. The first few months are great. But like any marriage of flesh and chemical (let me tell you, this stuff has a lasting, penetrating, possible ireversible effect) it doesn't always work out perfectly. When I started as a Mitchum Boy (this is what you are called during the first two weeks of the marriage) it was very strange to not sweat. yes, that's right my armpits ceased their production of sweat. unhealthy you say? well, you are probably right; but we only live once, and i don't want to look or smell like a sweatly slob. but then i got used the arid desert that was my undershoulder pit. it was great, i was a new man. no more giant sweat stains! but then slowly my body mounted a comeback against the mighty mitchum and i sweat again. not a lot, ming you, but enough to peeve me. now, i have no idea what would happnen if i stopped using. it could turn into Niagra now that the seasons (ION seasons are fucking overrated) are a changin'. i ahve no idea. my current sweat production is manageable with an undershirt, which is really no match for my 'pits at full force. if i had no mitchum i might as well have a bucket of water dumped on my head every morning.
IRN... for all you now considering becoming Mitchum Men too (and yes ladies, you too can be Mitchum Men (and no ladies, you may not be called Mitchum Ladies, that just doesn't make any sense)) let me forewarn you: the honeymoon is weird. The first few months are great. But like any marriage of flesh and chemical (let me tell you, this stuff has a lasting, penetrating, possible ireversible effect) it doesn't always work out perfectly. When I started as a Mitchum Boy (this is what you are called during the first two weeks of the marriage) it was very strange to not sweat. yes, that's right my armpits ceased their production of sweat. unhealthy you say? well, you are probably right; but we only live once, and i don't want to look or smell like a sweatly slob. but then i got used the arid desert that was my undershoulder pit. it was great, i was a new man. no more giant sweat stains! but then slowly my body mounted a comeback against the mighty mitchum and i sweat again. not a lot, ming you, but enough to peeve me. now, i have no idea what would happnen if i stopped using. it could turn into Niagra now that the seasons (ION seasons are fucking overrated) are a changin'. i ahve no idea. my current sweat production is manageable with an undershirt, which is really no match for my 'pits at full force. if i had no mitchum i might as well have a bucket of water dumped on my head every morning.
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