blogvid

Since the age of ten I have cried, seriously cried, four times: my parents getting divorced; my mom getting sick; my cat dying; and breaking up with Geetha. That was until Monday came. I had my official first-year teacher breakdown. 30 minutes during my prep period (which is 45 minuites long) then back to teaching. Then about an hour after school in front of the principal and vice principal. Over the weekend I lost my voice as a result of letting the party bug loose. He had been cooped up for sooo long, never really able to spread his wings. Well, lets say he spread his wings. And did handstands in a bar. Two nights in a row. Nonetheless, Monday started off well. I had prepared an awesome lesson with my collaborative team teacher. The first 30 minutes of class felt like my best 30 minutes ever as a teacher. Seriously, I do not think I ever felt so good about my teahcing than for those 30 minutes. Then the students lost it. The moment I gave them materials to make discoveries on their own, they lost it. The most important part of their scienceeducation is hands-on real-world doing and thinking adn they lost it. They let that time waste away. Granted we got through the activity. But I did it. I collected all the materials and did it as a demo in front of them. Then I gave out an exit slip- a short question to assess their understanding of the content they just learned. With my voice suffering they cut me no slack. getting to that exit slip was a struggle. the contrast between the first 30 and the last 30 was stark, and it hurt. i left the room to escape this teacher who teaches in my room 2nd period. i went to consult my cooperative team teacher about that last period. she was grading the exit slips. we were both in shock about what had happened. she finished grading the exit slips, worth ten points. this was so easy that if you didn't get all ten points it means you basically did not get the lesson. 8 of 26 students got 10/10. 8!!!!!! A third of them. This was the tipping point. It all came flowing out. and out. and out. we discussed, and agreed that my frustrations were justified. i splashed water on my face. paced up and down the hall a few times. ran up and down the five flights of stairs. went back to work. my next class was so bad i stopped mid-lesson and made them take out the textbooks to do busy work. this is the quietest they have ever been. another blow to my ego, or whatever it is you have when you teach. fourht period went better, but we still only managed to do half of the lesson. 6th period was bad, but they always are. gotta love 6th period. hell five floors up. i cancelled my tutorial and went to the VP to vent. It did not take long for it to start flowing again. the principa joined in the party. they were both very supportive, which was nice.

i must now go give thanks with the g-ma, g-pa, ma ma, ma-bro1, ma-bro2, ma-bro2-ho, and others. i will continue later with my reasons for all of this, and how i am doing now. oh, i am doing just fine. i have new fire lit under me, but more on that later.

have a happy thanksgiving everybody!